Children of Addicted Parents Get the Shaft

It's not a shock to anyone that drug abuse is a huge problem effecting millions U.S. worldwide. But while most people are familiar and proactive in organizations focused to treat addiction, such as rehab centers, many forget about the children of those addicts and what we could be providing them with to help with their recovery process, which is just as important as the addicts' themselves.

 

Brandee Houston recalls a lot of her childhood being left alone, often locked in her room, while her mother went out to party. “Honestly I was used to being alone. I knew what drugs were and I knew my mom was doing them. I got used to the fact that the drugs would always come first,” Houston says as she wipes her hands clean of crumbs from her morning bagel.

Drug abuse is a massive problem worldwide and affects not only the user but everyone around them. But drug addiction is taken to another level when the user has children and puts their addiction in front and above their family. The 2009 National Survey on Drug Use and Health, which was conducted by the Substance Abuse and Mental Health Services Administration, reported that over 6 million children in the U.S. are under the care of a drug addicted parent. 

There are rehab facilities all over the world to help people with addiction. But what about facilities that help the child or children of an addict? Unfortunately, there aren’t many options, unless you belong to a church.

Harmony Foundation Inc. is a residential closed campus in Estes Park, Colo. that addresses alcoholism and drug addiction for people age 18 and over. When asked if they do any work for children of addicts, therapist Susan Petersen says while the family of the addict is very important in the healing process, their facility only focuses on the addict themselves. “Try the Catholic Church,” she says. “We only help the addict themselves.”

While many churches do offer therapy sessions and support groups for kids, it was difficult finding a church that had a program directed towards children of an addict.

This was depressing news when brought to the attention of Courtney Gilmour, 20, who grew up with two parents that were meth addicts.

“It’s really discouraging that rehab centers can’t fit in a program intended for children with addicted parents. Obviously it is the addict who needs the most help, but the kids are the ones left behind with a lot of open wounds and insecurities.”

Gilmour also says that if there were these kinds of programs out there, they could save a lot of kids’ lives. “I always stayed away from drugs because I didn’t want to be like my parents. But not all kids go in that direction, my brother being an example.” Gilmour’s brother Anthony, 18, let his parents’ addiction rub off on him and he now has a substance abuse problem. “It’s really sad,” Gilmour says almost in tears. “Knowing there isn’t as many support groups and options out there to help kids like my brother and I is really disappointing. We needed help too.”

Courtney Gilmour with daughter Kya, mother Mikki on right, Grandmother on left.

Fortunately, there is a support group at Colorado State University that is lead by completely by students that focus on drug addiction in the family. Austin Lee, a Junior at CSU and a representative of the group says this is the best option he could find when looking for a facility focused on helping kids with addicts as parents. “After my dad went to rehab, I got the itch to go too, to help me get through my issues with it. But I just couldn’t find what I was looking for.”

Lee says it was until he met a friend in one of his criminal justice classes who had a similar childhood to him, growing up with an alcoholic father. “It helped us both so much just to talk about it with each other. From there, we decided we should start a group because we knew there had to be other kids who went through the same things we did but had no one to talk to.”           From there the boys went around campus posting flyers about a support group focusing on parents with addictions and child abuse. Lee says now he has a group of about a dozen friends who he met through the support group. “It’s an awesome, awesome feeling being able to share your stories and hear similar ones back, and then be able to feel at peace with what happened,” Lee says with a smile on his face.

Brandee Houston has also started a variety of support groups for children with drug addicted parents and works at an after school program in Denver working with intercity kids. “I love my job,” says Houston. “It feels so good giving back to kids that went through the same things I did.”

Full-time mother and housewife Mikki Lopez hardly fits the stereotype of a drug addict now. But for 14 years of her adult life she was completely consumed by getting high on methamphetamines and crack cocaine – an infatuation she shared with her then husband Joel, who is still battling the disease. Lopez is the mother of Courtney Gilmour and knows the struggles she put her children through. “It’s really embarrassing,” she says, with a half smile and teary eyes. “Rehab is what saved my life. I wish there had been similar programs for my kids at the time, especially for Anthony.” She begins to cry.

“There needs to be a safe haven for kids who have parents who are addicts, and I’m not talking foster care homes and things of that nature. They need a place they can go to for guidance and renewed hope and they need to stay healthy. Being an addict, I was unable to give that to my kids for a long time.”